Dog Article

Today I read this nauseating piece in the (pro-dog) Star Tribune.


http://www.startribune.com/462/story/745705.html

The story is about a cat who set a house on fire, and a dog who "saved" the disabled resident. This is such a puff-piece, I can't even begin to bear it. I live with a dog. Suffice to say, it isn't saving anyone. It even eats it's own feces from time to time. Howabout this for a headline?

"Dog eats own crap. Cat is #$%^#&$ stupified."

But no, it's "Dog saves this. Dog saves that." Every dog is freaking Benji, all of the sudden.

Ridiculous.

Guest Post: The Dog

Well, Ive been busy lately in my new book, so I thought I'd let the dog take a shot at guest blogging. Here is.

From: The Dog

Alright! Alright! Going for a trip! Going for a trip! I'll just grab my leash and...
Where'd they go! Where'd they go! Are they here? Are they there? I have no idea! Oh, this is really going to hell quick. Where'd they go?

WHERE'D THEY GO? WHERE'D THEY GO? WHERE'D THEY GO? WHERE'D THEY GO? WHERE'D THEY GO? WHERE'D THEY GO? WHERE'D THEY GO?

Oh, God, what is happening? Is that the car? Are they leaving? Holy crap. Okay, breathe man, breathe... Alright. It's cool. Just.

ARRAARGHGHGHSERHG BITE PILLOW! CRAP ON RUG! I"M INCONSOLABLE!!!! NYASSSHSHH!!!! WOOF WOOF WOOF!

Bad scene, man... Bad Fellini... Bad Fellini...

REARHAERAFREDX WOOOOF! PISS EVERYWHERE CHEW THROUGH DOOR!!!!

AW, GOD... AW, GOD PLEASE... OHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGODOHGOD....

As a Cat, I'm voting democrat

I read the news. I can make up my mind. You know what? The hell with it. I'm voting Democrat. I'm going to enjoy this. This is just sensible. Yeah, the way the world is going right now. It's time to vote Democrat.

What? Screw you. Fundie.