Tuesday, January 30, 2007

I'm itchy

I itch today. It can't be fleas. God, I hope it's not fleas. You think it's fleas? Can I get fleas in the wintertime? I really wouldn't know. I'm only 10 months old.

Ah, I am itchy, though, no matter how many times I bat myself with my paw, I can't seem to. Alright, I'm just gonna have to use my tongue. That's a little better. Yeah, that's not bad. I like licking myself, when i get around to it.

You can leave now.

Tuesday, January 02, 2007

Apparently I'm out of date

Or at least self-proclaimed blog-policeman Kevin Sawyer thinks so. I guess I don't update my blog frequently enough for his liking. Well, gee, I'd better update. What should I write? Perhaps I should consult the expert. What would Kevin do?

Um, boy, so-and-so second tier televangelist has raised my ire with his unorthodox political shenanigans. Yes, he is heretical for disagreeing with me! Everyone get angry at once, even though you have never heard of him!

Hey, Rip Torn, wanna get high? Yes, is Rip Torn ironic enough? I think he's pretty ironic, and I would like to get high with him for that reason. See, I am using a recurring joke. Isn't that so, so clever? That is called comedy. Apparently, I'm an expert in comedy, allow me to spend 200 paragraphs telling you how expert I am.

Hey, you know what sucks? "Life is Beautiful" sucks. Yes, everyone loved that movie, so I am required to hate it. Worst film ever. Oh, and the Republican part is just awwwwwwwwesome! I mean, I'm aware of their faults, but I just think they are incredible. I am SUCH a fanboy. I put the GO in GOP, you know what I'm saying.

Yes, I can blog too. Everyone should read my 58 posts per week because I'm brilliant and amazing.

Oh, and Kevin, do you have any friends who AREN'T pregnant. Who is your pastor, Caligula?